I had a follow up appointment with my heart doctor today. If you keep up with me you probably already know that some medicine I was on gave me heart failure. Again. This is the third time I've been in heart failure. Each time what's been great, is that I take meds and my heart gets better. I visit my heart doctor regularly and he makes sure it stays better.
I had a pretty bad spill in July. My heart failure went down to the furthest it's ever been, but oddly enough it went right back to normal within a day or two. Then within another day or two it went right back down. Talk about a roller coaster ride. Since then I have been taking my heart medication, increasing it when we decide to increase, etc.
This time I went to my doctor for my standard check up. Did the echocardiogram, saw the doctor, etc. But this time the news was different. My heart ejection fraction rate hasn't increased. The ejection fraction rate (I included a link for those who may be new to that terminology) normally is 55-70 but even when I was at 45 we weren't too worried. It has remained steady at 30 though. Meaning it's not getting any better with the meds.
For a little background for those who aren't familiar with my ride, the heart failure has caused my heart to be enlarged. This has caused a whole series of events that none are good. Because of the enlargement it can't pump like it's supposed to so the fluid in my lungs isn't getting pumped out like it's supposed to. The hope was the medicine would increase the efr but it hasn't.
Which brings me to this part of the story. Let me start of with I have been an emotional mess lately. My doctor saunters into the room mid speak about my efr sounding like nothing is wrong. Then he starts talking about pacemakers, defibrillators and so suddenly I'm like wait what? Me and my emotional self sits and nods and listens. He said since I wasn't progressing, implanting a defibrillator would be a form of a life saving device in case my heart does start deteriorating more. To be honest, it was like they told me I had cancer again, only worse. I didn't cry when I was told I had cancer. I got mad. But there I sat at the cardiologist office boo-hooing.
I can't explain why it affected me the way it did but, well, it did. I think I had hoped I would be all good and we would carry on as usual. I think my mind set was at, if I have a pacemaker then I'm really sick (Wtf? I mean I have cancer for Christ's sake). My brain works in mysterious ways. But my doctor went on to tell me if I didn't want to have it done we would roll with that as well. It's my decision in the end. Then of course, it is still up to the electrophysiologist who will look me over and let me know if it's physically possible for me to undergo, a minor surgery, but still a surgery. The electrophysiologist has the final say on if I can have the defibrillator. Doesn't seem like it's a tough surgery at all and I have a good surgery history so unless oxygen is the problem I don't see why he or she would say no.
I'm feeling better then I was earlier. It was an emotionally jarring day. It's just something new, unexpected, unwanted, and overall it's been a frustrating year. One of the toughest yet. But hey I make ten years in 2015. So if you are free December 27th and want to come celebrate that fact with me, message me on facebook, twitter, text, call, vox, bbm, whichever your pleasure. My family is throwing a party (was supposed to be a surprise, we aren't any good at those). Hope to hear from you!
I can't explain why it affected me the way it did but, well, it did. I think I had hoped I would be all good and we would carry on as usual. I think my mind set was at, if I have a pacemaker then I'm really sick (Wtf? I mean I have cancer for Christ's sake). My brain works in mysterious ways. But my doctor went on to tell me if I didn't want to have it done we would roll with that as well. It's my decision in the end. Then of course, it is still up to the electrophysiologist who will look me over and let me know if it's physically possible for me to undergo, a minor surgery, but still a surgery. The electrophysiologist has the final say on if I can have the defibrillator. Doesn't seem like it's a tough surgery at all and I have a good surgery history so unless oxygen is the problem I don't see why he or she would say no.
I'm feeling better then I was earlier. It was an emotionally jarring day. It's just something new, unexpected, unwanted, and overall it's been a frustrating year. One of the toughest yet. But hey I make ten years in 2015. So if you are free December 27th and want to come celebrate that fact with me, message me on facebook, twitter, text, call, vox, bbm, whichever your pleasure. My family is throwing a party (was supposed to be a surprise, we aren't any good at those). Hope to hear from you!
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