Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Look, it's my sister :)



Friday, July 19, 2013

Back in May

So here I am.  I'm sitting at Mary Bird Perkins getting chemo.  I wanted to finish watching Game of Thrones so I brought my computer, alas, I forgot headphones.  So, yay!  I thought about this.  Right now I come to Mary Bird once a week for treatment, on Monday mornings.  I say mornings but I normally get to stay here until 2-4.  When I first started this treatment, a few weeks ago, I had a major allergic reaction.  So now I take all these pre-meds that I didn't want to do.  It involves steriods.  Grrrr.  I know I don't tell you much lately, but it takes a force of control for me to sit down and write.  When I open my computer I completely forget what I got on for and check email, messages on facebook, and twitter.  Also, I started selling thirty-one products!  I am so excited about my new business!  The business is starting out slow but I believe it will pick up.  I love the products and I believe in the mission of the business http://www.thirtyonegifts.com/ and my personal website is https://www.mythirtyone.com/shadisyn/ .  I urge you to check it out.  If you want to hold a party at your house please let me know!! Also if you want to hold an online party  let me know too!  They are so much fun.  When I have a party I am always in awe of the fact that I get paid to do what I do.

My website is now not posted.  In order to place an order you have to go through me personally at shannoncmcalister@gmail.com  I didn't place enough orders so I am on hold until I can prove I have $300 in sales.  Grrr.  So check out the website, tell your friends, book a party, buy some wine (lol just kidding, unless you want wine), and lets party.  

Shannon

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

7 YEARS AND I'M STILL HERE LUAU! plus an update :)


Can't sleep so figured I blog.  Catch you guys up on what's going on lately.  So almost two months ago my cancer stopped responding to the medicine I was one, again.  It had stopped responding in November, but I had my partial hysterectomy in December, then went in to have another scan and it had responded.  Because of the good scan they gave me another three months on the medication.  I went back in April and the results of the scan wasn't good.  It had started growing again, and growing a pretty nice amount.  So back in January they had talked to me about this clinical trial I could start and since it had shrunk I didn't want to change meds just yet.  So on May 1st I started a clinical trial in Houston.  The trial requires us to travel back and for the Houston every week for one month and then every two weeks for the next month and to get retested at the end of two months.  The end of June marks the end of the second month so I go and get my scans the last week of June.

So lets talk about these meds.  One medication interfered with my allergies so some meds had to be changed.  Oh well.  After a couple trys we found a comparable drug.  These meds brought back some extra stomach problems, some crazy energy issues, and just an overall yuckness.  I have some really good days and some really bad days.  I normally have to stay close to home because of my stomach problems. I make it out to a movie every now and then, sometimes church, and a few other places but other then that, I try not to go too far.  Even with the places I go to I end up running to the bathroom, then to home, then to bed.  Not that sleeping is much of a choice because, well I just can't. Not with my stomach the way it is.

 We had a fire a couple weeks ago.  Yep, a fire.  The fire itself wasn't the problem.  I had just ran upstairs to make my bed when the fire alarms went off.  I ran out my room to find myself in a cloud of smoke thick enough that I couldn't see in front of me.  I bolted downstairs, put the fire out (my fault-boiling water but turned on wrong burner), got Madisyn and Cassie out, ran back in to open the windows and doors, and back outside to wait out the smoke.  While outside, I start to not be able to see straight, go inside and pass out.  I wake up hours later.  Had so much to do that day.  The whole day gone, down the toilet.  I go to access the damage.  Not bad at all.  Scrubbed a lot of the black around the stove off already.  Soot everywhere though. Some stuff I'm just chucking, other stuff I'm donating to 12baskets, and trying to keep just a minimum of items.  I don't have a dishwasher so washing every single item, with a lack of energy has been kind of slow but on the upside I am getting rid of stuff :)






So that's all the bad news.  The good news is I started working with a great organization.  It is probably my favorite time in my life.  I am happy, loving what I do, and I never want to stop doing what I do.  We help single mothers everyday, families of disaster, and anyone who needs help.  Just this week we furnished a whole apartment.  Minus the washer and dryer but those are hard to come by.  I have been trying to find my sister a washer/dryer/refrigerator but all of those are hard to come by. I love the girls I get to meet with this organization. Everyone of them amazing women.  The bonds I am making will last a lifetime.  The burning of passion for this job will never subside.  This is where God has been leading me for so long and it has all come to this moment in time.  I look back on my life and know everything was to make it to this.  I wouldn't turn back and change a thing.

God is amazing.  No matter how truthful I am about the way I feel, know this, through Christ all things are possible.  In my life I use that as my motto.  If something looks impossible I know that God can move mountains and part rivers so who am I to say that He can't cure cancer, help my relationships in my life, or perform miracles.  He can do all these and more!  I talk to God on a regular basis, thanking Him for EVERYTHING in life, releasing my worries and cares onto the Lord.  He will not let us go hungry!  No matter how your life looks.  If your life is perfect turn to the Lord, if your life is in shambles turn to the Lord.  He will sustain us through it ALL!  Hanging on to these promises help me through EVERYTHING!  God has my back, and Jesus carries me.  Throughout everything I am surrounded by the love of my Father, and His son.  When I think of faith, hope, and love not only to I put these as needs in my life but I remember that God has faith in ME. God has hope for ME. God has love for ME.  When I have someone so huge, so magical, so powerful on MY side, why am I to worry?  The devil can knock on my door but I refuse to open. The devil can try and tear down my walls but I have the MIGHTY power of Our Lord protecting me!  The devil tries and tries, but this girl isn't going back.  I am not going back to sleeping through life (well metaphorically), I am holding onto HIS promises for better days, and basking in His glory and all he gives to me at the same time! I go to Healing Place Church and it would be awesome if you want to go to church with me ever! You can check out the church at healingplacechurch.org

12baskets ministries is the organization I have been talking about.  Our website is 12basketsministries.com where you can find out more about us.  Our twitter is 12baskets2012.  Our you can check out our Facebook at 12baskets ministries facebook A favorite saying of ours is "God is big enough".  This one saying sums up everything.  Does someone need a keyboard for their son, God hands it to us. A bed? God hands it over. We supplies a whole nursery to one family, diapers and all.  Where did it come from? God.  Never do I think that what we are doing is pointless, useless, or mundane.  There is joy in every day.

That is it for right now, this has definitely been a long night with a long day ahead of me, so please pray that by this afternoon, or the moment u ready this that my stomach is healed!  Love u all!

Shannon

*************Party for me this Saturday! 7 years and I'm still here luau!  No gifts! If you would like to bring a dish it would be awesome! In lieu of gifts please donate to http://www.ashleyrenglish.org/ 
PLEASE also check out  My Thirty One Gifts Party a GREAT way to find gifts for others, organization for your house, your car, and your life! Beautiful items!  A portion of the proceeds ALSO benefit Ashley English!

If you have Facebook please notice the link below:
Shannon's "7 Years and I'm Still Here" Luau and Thirty One Gifts Party


Monday, May 7, 2012

C4YW 2012

Another published later post...this one is from February...how aggravating is this getting?

Hey Guys!

I know it's been awhile since I have posted any updates and I really have no excuse except....Pinterest :)
My new obsession.  I can not stop looking at great cool stuff I find on there.  It even has inspired me to write a new blog about organizing my house. I am incorporating Pinterest into my house :)
Granted the blog that I promised to post daily onto gets about as much attention as this blog does...sorry guys!  I just know a lot of you keep up with me on facebook and twitter a lot of you don't so I apologize!

You ever have a moment when you absolutely have to write no matter what obligations you have going on?  That's how I am right now.  I just got home from church service..which I am completely going to talk about, just not yet.  I have a lot to say so keep your eyes open and focused!

First things first, I can't remember if I ever told you guys the good news on here.  For a month I was on a "cancer" fast.  I was fasting saying the actual word "cancer".  It was actually pretty amazing.  I delved into stuff I had been putting off, I accomplished stuff that I would call miraculous, and it gave me a sort of peace about the situation.  The fasting started as a project my friends from church challenged me with, to find the "me" outside of the "cancer me".  This disease invaded my life almost 7 years ago and pretty much it has warped it's way into almost every aspect of me and I needed a way to distance myself from the situation.  The funny part of all this is I did absolutely spectacular for the first couple weeks.  I maybe had a couple mishaps but all in all I thought that was pretty good.  Then I had an amazing opportunity to attend a conference specifically for young women with breast cancer.  The conference takes place in a different part of the country every year and this year it was New Orleans.  The hands of God moved and made it possible for myself and a close friend of mine that I have made while on this journey, who is a fellow young survivor, to attend this weekend conference, hotel, food, and everything covered.  We just paid for the gas to get there (well I think that was mostly her-thanks girl!).  With such an opportunity at my hands there was no way I could pass this up because of my fast.  So we went!  The word cancer was said, probably not as much as I had anticipated, but it was said a lot.  We met so many others just like us.  There were some amazing speakers and amazing resources.  To look around and see so many women that looked, well, they looked just like me.  It's hard to explain.  I know you guys do see it but probably won't admit it but the complete change in my body shape, head, arms, stomach, and well everything.  I realized, it's not just me.  Its not just me and the few ladies I have met.  There are so many from everywhere.  A lot had finished treatment, a lot were currently on treatment, and a lot were just as young as I was when I was diagnosed.  The feeling of solidarity was amazing.  Like an emptiness that I didn't know was there had been filled.  Tracey and I made the absolute best of it.  We kind of wished that we knew how to make ourselves be morning people so we could hit the early riser's yoga, but some things are just outside our reach for now.  We made so many contacts that we just love, and I decided that somehow someway I will make it to C4YW 2013

I have trying to keep up with my pink princesses page on Facebook to share the resources I found for young women going through breast cancer, or just have the gene, or has family members going through it and are worried about it themselves.  Plus if you ever know anyone who is a young women who gets diagnosed with breast cancer I want you to send them there!! Here is the link Pink Princesses

Love ya!
Shannon

Monday, February 6, 2012

Alrighty, here is yet another one that was in my draft folder...don't know why I don't just post these things immediately...maybe I think I will edit later...who knows lol

Hey guys,

I know it's been forever since I've posted anything. Part of the reason for that is I seem to catch anything and everything, the other part is I just haven't felt like typing anything.

So first of all I'm gonna throw in that even though I've been sick pretty much constantly since Christmas, we did have an amazing Christmas and New Years. Again this year we had someone amazing step up and give us a Christmas that I would never have been able to give myself. I know she wants no recognition and that is not the reason she did it and I know she did it just because she loves us but her name is Tracey and over the last year she has become a really close friend. We met at the Susan Komen Survivors Brunch in 2010. Both she and I were in the Survivors fashion show and somehow throughout both our journeys we had never met. She is a young breast cancer survivor just like me. We have gone through so much together just in this short period of time we have known each other. She continues to amaze me with her giving heart and her heart for others going through the same battles. So thanks Tracey, and thank you to her family and friends as well for loving us just because Tracey loves us.

I know I do this so much but I would also like to take a moment and thank each of you for everything. To the HPC Single Moms Ministry for taking me under their wings the whole month of December and provided meals for both me and Madisyn while I was recovering from surgery To put into perspective for you guys, we had enough food to be able to bless another family with meals. Also to my family for blessing us with meals as well throughout my recovery. To Madisyn's best friend and her family for taking care of Madisyn while I'm in Texas and while I was recovering ( I love you Lynn!). And to her good friends family for taking care of getting the girls home after school everyday ( Thank you Patty!). To the amazing woman who I refer to as my sister friend, Toni, thank you for taking care of my sweet Cassie Fay while we are gone all the time.  It means so much to me to have someone to turn to who can take care of her.  To my friends for keeping us company and just being there for us. To our HPC family for everything they do for us on a daily basis. And to everyone I haven't mentioned. I don't love you any less but I think I've already lost readers so I'm gonna stop now.

It's been an eventful couple months to say the least. Sometimes I think my life could be a sitcom. At the very least a weekly newspaper column where I get to tell everyone about my insane life.

I guess I'll start in December. At the beginning of December I had surgery. It was a short, successful surgery with an easy recovery compared to some of the other surgeries I have had. In fact in same ways I actually felt better after the surgery then before. It's the events surrounding the surgery that make it interesting. So, we all know that for six years I have been begging for a complete hysterectomy. I managed to get the go ahead but ended up having my breast reconstruction first (in July) and waited until December to have my hysterectomy. When going in for my consult for my hysterectomy the doctors changed their tune to no for the complete hysterectomy and gave me the ultimatum of: removing just my ovaries and Fallopian tubes or no surgery at all. The reasoning behind all this was since I tested negative for the genes then I had little to no chance of uterine or cervical cancer. To put it in layman's terms they told me I had no more chance then the general population to get cancer in these organs. I spoke with both my local oncologist and my Houston oncologist and they all agreed it was just to many risks to go ahead and do a complete hysterectomy when i had no reason for it to benefit me. My argument was simply that I had no risks for breast cancer but look at me now! Also, look at my record, if there is any chance for it to happen, it will. Around that time it just happened to be time for my yearly checkup with my gynecologist. While my preliminary results were good and they saw no reason that the final results would come back any different so they wouldn't budge on the hysterectomy idea. But when the results came back positive for HPV with atypical cells and I asked what this meant the doctors assistant simply said, in a snide way, "yes this does mean you might get your hysterectomy after all". If this was jeopardy no way would that question and answer go together. I went on to clarify what my question had meant and so she explained that a biopsy was necessary to see if these cells were cancerous or not. Again the preliminary results were good but while in pre-op for surgery, groggy from the meds, my doctor comes in with the news that it did come back as stage III precancer and during surgery they would take part of my cervix out to see if there was any cancer involved. In a way I was kind of bummed to hear that but a larger part of me was like "Booya! Did I tell you or what?!"  Unfortunately they didn't perform the complete hysterectomy like they told me they would if anything came back precancerous or cancerous in the cervix.  I'm over it now though. 

Well I woke up from surgery and to put it into words, well, I felt refurbished.  lol.  I felt like something was taken out of me that was never supposed to be there.  I don't think I always had problems with it, but apparently I did at this point.  I had gone to the gynecologist a few times complaining about it but nothing ever came of it.  So, let me tell you, that stuff should have been gone a long time ago.  They say some get depressed, some get hot flashes, some gain weight, and some other crazy side effects of this surgery.  Well, after surgery I felt better then ever, my depression has gotten better, and well I have had hot flashes for years from the hormone suppressants I have been on so that doesn't bother me at all. 

Well, I made it through the surgery fantastically, Christmas horribly sick but blessed beyond reason (I love you Tracey!).  So the next drama came from our sweet Cassie Fay.  The weekend after surgery the poor baby started having bloody diarrhea.  I know all of you want to hear about this but it's kind of a funny story.  I was still on meds from my surgery and still out of it, and one day i wake up to what looks like a murder scene in my house.  I can't even explain how much blood was everywhere.  It was awful, and hysterical at the same time.  So I start scrubbing.  Scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing.  With my lymphodema and my recent surgery it became nearly impossible to keep scrubbing.  That's when my poor mother came to my rescue.  And like a magical fairy she scrubbed, and scrubbed until it was all clean.  She is amazing.  It was a looooong weekend.  No sleep, constantly running to bring my dog outside, and waiting until Monday to bring my dog to the vet because i knew I wasn't ready to drive yet.  In the end my poor baby had hookworms and heart worms. 

So then came Madisyn's stomach virus.  She called me from school one day because it didn't start till after she made it to school.  I spent two days taking care of her.  A week later is Christmas when my stomach virus hit..so like I said, crazy right?

The good news that came from all of this is as of the day of my surgery December 5th I quit smoking.  Yep, cold turkey.  Finally!  I have been smoking on and off...mostly on...since I was 14..13..crap I don't remember, it's been a long time, and all of a sudden I knew it was time.  I hope it continues to stay this way.  I find it amazing I have made it this long!

So that brings me to New Years...I stayed home!  I knew if I were to step out that door that the first place i would stop would be the gas station for cigarettes.  I mean, it's New Years Eve right?!  What better night to smoke and quit tomorrow...that was my way of thinking so my brain kicked into gear and reminded me that if I do smoke even that one cigarette that there was no turning back for at least another six months.  So Netflix and me had a great New Years Party.

Thats all for now!

Shannon

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Numberology

Hey All!

I know it has been a huge while since I have blogged.  It's been a crazy time in my life and it seems when I think of things to write I am no where near a computer and by the time I am I forget what I wanted to say.  I will catch you guys up soon.  For now I wanted to show you what my number sign turned out to be.  If you guys know me pretty well you will see how accurate the information when compared to my personality. The website I did it on is http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp ..so here goes:


You entered: Shannon Christine McAlisterThere are 25 letters in your name.
Those 25 letters total to 119
There are 8 vowels and 17 consonants in your name.


What your first name means:
IrishMaleLittle old wise one. Surname and river name.
IrishFemaleOld. Surname and river name.
Your number is: 11
The characteristics of #11 are: High spiritual plane, intuitive, illumination, idealist, a dreamer.
The expression or destiny for #11:
Your Expression number is 11. The number 11 is the first of the master numbers. It is associated with idealistic concepts and rather spiritual issues. Accordingly, it is a number with potentials that are somewhat more difficult to live up to. You have the capacity to be inspirational, and the ability to lead merely by your own example. An inborn inner strength and awareness can make you an excellent teacher, social worker, philosopher, or advisor. No matter what area of work you pursue, you are very aware and sensitive to the highest sense of your environment. Your intuition is very strong; in fact, many psychic people and those involved in occult studies have the number 11 expression. You possess a good mind with keen analytical ability. Because of this you can probably succeed in most lines of work, however, you will do better and be happier outside of the business world. Oddly enough, even here you generally succeed, owing to your often original and unusual approach. Nonetheless, you are more content working with your ideals, rather than dollars and cents.

The positive aspect of the number 11 expression is an always idealistic attitude. Your thinking is long term, and you are able to grasp the far-reaching effects of actions and plans. You are disappointed by the shortsighted views of many of your contemporaries. You are deeply concerned and supportive of art, music, or of beauty in any form.
The negative attitudes associated with the number 11 expression include a continuous sense of nervous tension; you may be too sensitive and temperamental. You tend to dream a lot and may be more of a dreamer than a doer. Fantasy and reality sometimes become intermingled and you are sometimes very impractical. You tend to want to spread the illumination of your knowledge to others irrespective of their desire or need.
Your Soul Urge number is: 9
A Soul Urge number of 9 means:
With a 9 Soul Urge, you want to give to others, usually in a humanitarian or philanthropic manner. You are highly motivated to give friendship, affection and love. And you are generous in giving of your knowledge and experience. You have very sharing urges, and you are likely to have a great deal to share. Your concern for others makes you a very sympathetic and generous person with a sensitive and compassionate nature.

You are able to view life in very broad and intuitive terms. You often express high ideals and an inspirational approach to life. If you are able to fully realize the potential of your motivation, you will be a very self-sacrificing person who is able to give freely without being concerned about any return or reward.
As with all human beings, you are prone to sometimes express the negative attitudes inherent to your Soul Urges. You may become too sensitive and tend to express emotions strongly at times. There can be significant conflict between higher aims and personal ambitions. You may resent the idea of giving all of the time and, in fact, if there is too much 9 energy in your nature you may reject the idea. You may often be disappointed in the lack of perfection in yourself and others.
Your Inner Dream number is: 11
An Inner Dream number of 11 means:
You dream of casting the light of illumination; of being the true idealist. You secretly believe there is more to life than we can know or prove, and you would like to be provider of the 'word' from on high.





Cool right!!!  I don't normally think this kind of stuff has any basis but this was hard to deny!
Lots of love guys!
Shannon

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Home from surgery

I am home from Houston, surgery went good. I had both my ovaries and my fallopian tubes out. Plus added on at the last minute because pathology from biopsy last week came back with cervical dysplasia, between stage II-III. My gyn surgeon added a cone biopsy, removing a cone shaped part of my cervix, there was more then they thought and they took more, I don't know how much our what it is yet. ... There was also a growth on my uterine wall they removed but we don't know what that is yet either. Hoping for just a benign cyst. Waiting on pathology results for all of it. Other then all that I am doing ok. It hurts, I am sore all over, the insides, the outsides, the everything. Praying I don't have two more types of cancer! One is pre cancerous but hoping the rest that they took out wasn't cancerous

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Just the truth

Okayyyyyy, so I wrote this a while back, to be exact it was October 27th.  I had no idea I didn't post it so here is some old news:

Hi! I want to start out with how much I love all of you for caring enough about us to view my blogs. I have had some very rough times and your kind words and beautiful outpouring of support mean the world to me. I also want to begin with how much I trust and believe in God's healing powers. I have been shown it over and over again. Years ago, the night before my double masectomy, the womens ministry at my church laid hands on my left breast. I had just found out I had tumors in my left arm lymphnodes and the doctors were looking for tumors to be in my left breast figuring it was another primary cancer (if you can't follow the cancer lingo just ask lol). I had such a feeling of power, the knowledge that there would be no cancer in my left breast. Well, low and behold, the test my left breast for tumors and find none. I call that a God intervention. He let me know he was here with me. There have been times when I didn't think I was going to make it another day. I have been in so much pain at different times. Allergic reactions, seizure, bone and muscle and bone marrow pain for days, weeks, months, at a time. I was in the ER one time and was severely dehydrated. The nurses and doctors couldn't get an IV into any veins. My arms that I let them try just because I had to, sometimes it's easier there and sometimes I don't want them to put and IV in my foot. Well, thank you lymphodema, in the foot or medi port it is! Well to finish my ER story, they tried my arms, hands, feet, neck, and finally had to opt for a central line. This consist of, not only a needle being stuck in your top middle part of your thigh, but a needle almost the size of an epirdural. Maybe it's bigger, I don't know. I just know it was huge. The whole process=2 hours. My sister/friend, Toni, was with me. She was there holding my hand and I could tell by the look on her face, scared to death for me. To finish this story, I wanted to say, at every different situation where I felt like it was my last second on this earth I would pray. I would be in non stop prayer. I would pray for His arms to embrace me and give me comfort. I would actually feel His arms around me. Almost as if He was holding me. I would sink into His arms and be at peace. Calm. Now don't get me wrong, I was scared. I was so scared of leaving my daughter but at the same time I would understand that if something happened to me she would be taken care of. In Jesus's arms I would wake each time. Now try and tell me there is no God.

I also want to be a little more honest. I am just going to acknowledge it. For all to see. For all to understand. I am putting this out here for all of you to know:
It is not fair. It is not fair. It is not fair. I would not wish this on my worst enemy and the thought that if I could choose someone to have cancer besides me, it would be me everytime. There is no way anyone I have ever met deserves this.
I get mad. Then I realize I don't even know who to be mad at.
I want to run. Disappear. Live on a beach. Meet the man of my dreams, who then moves us to a house on the beach. One thing always stops this dream. Cancer. There is no running. Every where I go it stays with me. Shannon, queen of running, cannot run from this.
The thought of having another surgery makes me sick to my stomach. Yet I know it is necessary. Bye bye ovaries...
The news today that one of my tumors has grown through me for a loop.
I cried about my cancer for the first time in over six months today.
Right now I am having a hard time coming to grips that chemo may be started again. I will return to Houston in two months and if it has grown anymore chemo starts again.
I still haven't written my first book.
Or my second book.
I need a publisher.
Bradley Cooper needs to realize that we are meant to be, soon.
Bradley Cooper, I really lost all respect for you when you started dating J-Lo. What are you thinking?
I need everyone to bring me their funny movies so when I am layed up after surgery I can laugh.
Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck make the cutest little people.
Right now I have to return a phone call to my gynocologist to schedule surgery, my physical therapist to schedule therapy, my therapist to schedule a session, Walgreens MedMart to schedule a medicine delivery of my Tykerb, the maintenance drug that has worked for so long until now. I need to call Madisyn's doctor for a medicine refill, make an appointment for the eye doctor, the TMJ doctor, my local oncologist(well I have to find out if I scheduled an appointment or not..I forget and can't find an appointment card-this happens all the time)
I have an amazing kid, she makes me smile.
She also makes me crazy sometimes ;-)
I have the greatest group of friends a girl can ask for.
While on chemo I am a cranky, tired, bald and on lots of meds that make me out there. Just love me, understand me, help me, be with me, hang with me, invite me places even if you know I will probably say no because I'm sick.
Offer to clean i.e. wash dishes, sweep, mop, vacuum, dust, laundry (thanks mom!), help with my bill organizing, help with Madisyn as much as you can.
I love Twilight, Vampire Diaries, The Crow, Glee, The Secret Circle, Pretty Little Liars, Psych, James Dean, art, peace signs, the store Hot Topic, Dexter, The Game of Thorns, American Horror Story, Parks and Recreation, Up All Night, Raising Hope, and so much more.
I hate the Disney Channel.
I love Teen Nick.
I quote songs.
I write songs.
You will probably never hear them.
I quote movies.
I like to be in movies. Hollywood, here I am!
I am way to sarcastic at times. But I mean well.
I will never, have never phone stalked anyone.
Now, facebook stalked, that's a different story.
I love my parents and my family even though I don't show it.
Right now I just WANT to be depressed. Let me. I will bounce back, I need a grieving period.
I really do think Edward is too old for Bella.
Breaking Dawn is crazy.
I do think the reason for all the cancer around here has some Erin Brokovich story that just hasn't been discovered yet.
You will never find handi-capped parking at the oncologist's office, Crowne Plaza, Walmart, the Superdome during the Saints game, the psychiatrist office, the heart doctor, the neurologist office, and Barnes&Nobles (????).
My Bella is never coming home and I have to get over it.
I am sorry for anything I may have ever said or done to hurt you.
If my doctor writes me a prescription to not be around any kids but my own, listen. I did not talk her into it, she indepently wrote it because of my blood cell counts and the possibility of getting infections I could be hospitalized or worse killed from a virus when it is just a nuisance to your system and your system kills it.
.
I am spontaneous and wild yet an introvert at the same time.
I just want someone who loves me for both of my sides. Someone who can be wild and silly with me but at the same time respects when I need to be alone.

I try and I try to stay positive and turn to the promises of My God. I am human though. Jesus gave His life for me so that I may be forgiven of my sins.
Truth is I get scared.
Truth is I ignore cancer so it won't get me down. Truth is it doesn't matter what I think when my body tells me I'm sick it is hard to ignore.
I really do want to work. But a job working around all my doctors appointments and surgeries will be almost impossible to find much less keep.
I get overwhelmed by the phone calls, doctor's appointments, motherhood, doctor's bills, and really just life in general. I wish I could say I am living the life I am intended but I am not so sure I am.
I feel as though something big is in store for me. I don't know what or how or why, but I feel as though God has chosen me for something and I am steadily working towards His goal.
God know my heart. God knows my pain. God knows my heartache. God knows my strength.

I have shared enough lol. Maybe more next time.

As always, with love,

Shannon








Monday, October 10, 2011

Whoops!

So I found a blog that I had decided to finish later...why you ask...because I stopped being able to see straight..right in the middle of writing.  After many attempts at deleting and retyping that last sentence I gave up.  You should see my texts draft folder lol.

So I am on day two after surgery.  I had the 2nd stage of my breast reconstruction.  It is amazing what these surgeons can do.  I have the utmost respect for all of you there.  All of the doctors, the nurses, nurse's aides, the everyone who takes part of your care when it matters most, your life.  Definitely when choosing doctors for whatever you need' you have to like them.  You don't want to feel like you're not getting listened to.  I have had my share of doctors and different experiences and what I have learned for them is speak up and communicate.  Use your voice.  The , xzbest advocate for you is, in fact, you.  rg5

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Labryinths

So earlier today I had a thought.  While watching a preview for a movie about a girl with cancer and the guy she meets and enjoys life with before she dies, I couldn't help but wonder, "When's my story going to start?"

Don't ask me why I thought that or where it came from.  I know my story has started and every day it continues on, but watching that preview I felt anger.  Anger towards cancer, anger towards life, anger towards circumstance, anger towards anything and everything.  Fact is I haven't dated, like really dated, since I left my husband in 2006.  Everyone likes to remind me that I have had alot going on since then but then I see all these dramatic films about cancer patients and they all meet these amazing partners that they share their life with until the end.  I sat there staring at the screen, crying.  Crying not about the preview but about my own life.  If I didn't have company I would have ran straight to my room, thrown my head in my pillow and cried.  Half of me wanted to do that the other half wanted to run outside and live.  Granted it was 10:30 on a Sunday night and there probably wasn't much going on.  For the past six years I have watched as other peoples' lives continue forward while my life has come full circle since the year 2001.  In 2001 I lived in these same apartments that I now live in again.  At that point I was a single mom with no thoughts of dating but at the same point wishing I could meet someone.  I was broke but making enough money to pay the bills and feed us.  Since the year 2005 I have pretty much just gone from living in one place to living in another.  I am stuck in a rut and I need to break out. 

I decided to start writing books.  Well, I have started a few but didn't want to go any further because I wanted a computer to do it on so I won't have to end up typing anyways.  Unfortunately I just don't have good luck with things like electronics.  We finally got the computer my friend Leigh Anne had given us (one she was getting rid of) to start working and I thought we had it figured out.  Well it lets Madisyn do most of her school but when I get on it the computer just stops working for me.  Right now I am on my friend Will's laptop and if he blinks I am stealing it.  I can't seem to figure out if buying a laptop is a necessity or not.  I want to write to make money but without a working computer it kind of feels impossible.  I can type faster then I write and my thoughts flow fast so typing helps me keep up with myself.  I found a company here that refurbishes old laptops and sells to low income people for $200.  I am also going to a Dave Ramsey course who is telling me that I have to pay off everything before I make decisions like that but it's like a catch 22.  Frustrating. 

I know alot of my frustration stems from being stuck in this rut and having trouble finding my way out.  The cancer, the overwhelming money problems, the swelling in my arms for which I am back in physical therapy for, the pain and aggravation from that and the oddly placed tumors that are a neverending reminder that yep, I have cancer, the stress of being a single mom to an 11 year old daughter, the wondering if, am I, Shannon, actually someone somebody could fall in love with, the awareness that I actually am happy being single and the knowledge that I may not live long enough to experience real love, the wondering what am I going to feed my child tonight, I know I can go without but I know she expects meals, the stress of a car that refuses to stay working no matter how much it gets worked on, the knowledge that I may never see California, or France, or Italy, or Australia, or Canada, or New York, or the Grand Canyon, or ever have a real vacation again.  I wonder why, of all people, can get cancer over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, also get lymphodema in both arms, not one but both. Always wondering about my epilepsy, heart failure, cancer and everything else I am fighting.  I have gotten so sick at times that the only reason I think I am alive is because during times of fighting the urge to go unconscious I pray harder then ever and God sees me through.  I've felt myself knock on deaths windows more then once and I am still alive.  Once I start feeling better I get randomnly sick again, even now while off of the hard chemo.  For two weeks, maybe more, my sense of time is warped, I went from sickness to sickness.  Everyday was new problems.  The past couple of days have been better but I still constantly have to pray to make sure God hears my prayers.  I wonder if I will ever make my mark on this life.  Will I ever be proud of myself?  Will others ever be proud of me? 

The slap in the face was at my last oncologist appointment where fear of a blood clot or more cancer in my swelling right side of my neck and face I had to get an ultrasound.  The ultrasound tech after asking about me then proceeded to tell me to get a life and start living it.  Go to LSU games, get out and have fun.  I told him it wasn't in my budget and he still wouldn't give up.  I finally agreed that I would try.  Problem is I can't figure out where to start.  Thanks ultrasound tech, now you have me worried about my lack of life.  Word to the wise, don't tell six year cancer patients to get a life.  Everyday I fight for my life and aim to get my life back but hurdles are constantly thrown and half the time the hurdles make me fall.  Just help me get back up, and anyone you know in rough times.  Just give us your hand and help us through our labryinths because no way we can make it ourselves.  Half the time we don't know where we are going without the labryiths, so lead the way. 

Thanks for listening to yet another rant.

Shannon

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Cancer, Vampires, and Hair

Hi Everyone!

Things have been going good so I haven't had much to complain about but I thought I would just write to you guys, say hi, talk about nothing, everything, and anything in between.

First things first...still stable and still on the same medications that I have been on for awhile.  Tykerb, Lupron, and Arimidex.  Very few side effects for the most part.  I stay on nausea meds, twice a day, and that pretty much covers any nausea I have.  The first few days after I get my shot (Lupron) I am in so much pain it is ridiculous.  That slowly goes away throughout the month, and then its time to get another one.  But honestly, it isn't that bad.  They mentioned changing to a different drug which doesn't have as many side effects; but so far I am not really comfortable changing meds, since I have been stable and to change drugs now makes me paranoid.  So for now that's that.  I return to Houston for doctor appointments in October so I get to kind of relax until then.  No worries!

Speaking of no worries...Lion King is back to the theater!  Starting September 16, in 3D and for only 2 weeks!  Put it in your calender now!  If you would like to add it to your home collection, click on Simba!
  As always, with any add on my page, if you click and buy I get a percentage of sales!  No one has clicked yet!  Start clicking!

Speaking of watching something...I just finished watching the series Ally McBeal!  OMG!  Absolutely LOVED it!!  The last season wasn't my favorite but I did relate to her just as much as in the beginning because she was at the same age I am now.  She had a ten year old daughter too.  Granted unfortunately I am not dating Bon Jovi and I have never dated Robert Downy Jr. but given the chance I think I would say yes lol. I also had to carry my child for nine months and go through with labor and raising her but....if you count all that out, we are the same...lol...Do you need some Ally in your life?   Amazon baby!  Believe me, you do need Ally in your life.  Since watching that show I now try to remind myself to have a theme song.  I haven't found the perfect one yet, but I am still searching.  The character Richard Fish introduced me to "bygones" which from what I can gather, I can say or do anything I want but as long as I add "bygones" after it, its okay.  He also introduced me to the unisex bathroom...make your work bathroom a unisex, get your ADA approved sign here lol!
The character John Cage introduced me to the nose whistle (which I have yet to master), extra large boxing gloves (get your own from Amazon!), and Barry White's "Baby We Better Try To Get it Together" (get your download from Amazon and make me a cd!).  They played even more of Barry when Ally had Barry appearing to her.  I absolutely have fallen in love with his older music!  On September 12, if he was still with us, he would be celebrating his 67th birthday.  There were so many things I loved about Ally McBeal.  Too many to keep listing.

So, changing the subject completely, I entered the world of extensions early August.  The wonderful ladies at Salon Zoe gave me a full head of hair!  The things they can do with hair these days is just miraculous!  When you first call Salon Zoe they set you up with a consultation.  In the consultation you will discuss they discuss the different styles, different ways to have the extensions, different colors; a very informative process.  They will set you up for a later date to come and get your amazing "do".  What is even more amazing is the heart of these ladies.  Cierra Wheat and Liz Anderson; knowing that many women struggle with alopecia (hair loss), formed an organization to help those affected by all this that can not afford the pricey hair do's. This organization deserves its name Angel Zoe.   With just a small co-pay Cierra and Liz gave me the hair I have been dreaming about having for years now.  I was able to enjoy a trip knowing that even if I know that I am sick, it wasn't completely obvious to others.  Just like a puzzle missing a piece they made me feel whole. Sadly since I was without hair for almost six years with a few breaks here and there, my hair folicules got infected because my hair wasn't strong enough to handle the way your hair gets pulled into braids.  So unfortunately last week I said goodbye to my extensions.  I miss them, and my reflection with lots of hair.  Here are my before and after pics:

Just so you know, no one is paying me to advertise Salon Zoe! I know earlier I did say the links I post are a way for me to earn money, but that is just with Amazon, like this: Books, books, and more books .








Speaking of books...I just finished reading Definately Dead, a Sookie Stackhouse Novel by Charlaine Harris.  These books are the basis for the hit HBO show True Blood.  We all know the story.  Vampire meets human female, falls in love, but wants to drink her amazing blood.  The catch in this series, both the books and the show, the world they live in know vampires exist.  They "came out" a couple years before our series starts and they have synthetic blood sold at gas stations just like Red Bull, Coke, or Gatorade.  Throw in a couple werewolves, werepanthers, weretigers, witches, and fairies, and VOILA! you now have Definitely Dead.  Of course Charlaine Harris writes it much better then that with twists and turns that have you wondering "WHAT??!!"  It is book six in series of books of which the most recent is book 11, which was released in May of this year.  Fortunately for all of us out there that can't wait to get our hands on imaginary vampires, werewolves,and whatever else they come up with, Charlaine is not finished writing!  Yes, more is coming!  I can't say that about a very similar series, I think we all know which one I am talking about...Twilight of course!  I still am waiting patiently for Stephenie Meyer to change her mind and continue the series. 
Below, click on the any of the pics to order them on Amazon:







Okay, it's time for me to sleep...should have never had the grande coffee at 8 that took me until 10 to drink.  I feel like I could go to the gym...nah...tv and bed with prayers of sleep tonight.  Next time I will tell you all about my road trip!  Who knows if I can't sleep I may be back this sometime this morning to blog!

Love you always!

Shannon


















Wednesday, August 3, 2011

How Many Young Breast Cancer Survivors Are Out There?

Hey to All!  This post is different.  I want to see how many young breast cancer survivors we have out there, sooo,  under this post comment with your name and what year you were diagnosed and how old you were/are and where you are from.  My name is Shannon.  I was 25 when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer and have been battling metastatic breast cancer since 2006 and I live in Baton Rouge, LA.  How about you?

Monday, July 18, 2011

Take Them A Meal | simplifying meal coordination so friends, family, neighbors and co-workers can show they care

Hello Everyone!

Friday I finally had the second stage of my reconstruction surgery. It isn't that bad to tell you the truth. They did make the incision across my stomach again and a big incision under my left arm and worked on everything from my chest to my thighs. I have to recover for 4-6 weeks so a friend set up this calender so people can sign up to bring meals. The calender only goes for two weeks, I think I will be fine to cook and stuff after the two weeks, just can't do any swimming or heavy lifting for awhile. I know it is asking alot from all of you but it would mean so much to both me and Madisyn if you take a look and sign up for just one night. Madisyn has been my angel. So far she has cooked for us. My friend Lynn brought us dinner last night and it was awesome! Pray about it, decide if this is something God wants you to do, then if it is, click on the link below and sign up! Thanks for reading!
Shannon